Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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