Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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