i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Drake has all the answers
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
