Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
