just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
