What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
