You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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