You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
