my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
