someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My penis needs a shock collar
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
