Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize