I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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