So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
