i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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