Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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