Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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