At least make sure they are 18
Why
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
