20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
