let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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