I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
