So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I need water and some morals
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
