He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I love having hate sex.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
