As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
