Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
