Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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