just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
