there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
