I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize