so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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