i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
