Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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