i need an iv and a liver transplant
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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