covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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