He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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