left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
