Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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