She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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