We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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