'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
