Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
