are you still at the devil's house?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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