the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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