God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If I die, sorry about rent.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
