I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
