You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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