wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
