I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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