Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
