alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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