mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
