I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
