they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
