Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
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