At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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