it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
